xxx.the.unspeakable.in.my.closet.xxx

Blockhead, tomato and the second banana. XD

2007-12-28T12:17:11Z

December 28, 2007

4:39 pm, my rooooom

the black parade, Canon (rock version), sugar we’re goin down

(see my friendster for the pictures ^_^)

We finally went swimming yesterday. ^_^. Anlameeeeeeeeeg. It was sunny when we started, and then it started to rain. Coolness. We moved to the kiddie pool when it stopped raining. Hmm. I liked the swimming while raining part. (1^st time ee.) Weird yung iba naming pictures. Ahaha. Bakit parang… xD shame.

It was fun being with Francine and Chris. ahaha. We went to SM City Manila after (another 1^st for me ^_^) where we danced at Quantum then ~~window~~-shopped. Then there was dinner, and a mad dash to the bus home. Naku, it’s a very good thing none of us got roadkilled on that last part. And I’m grateful they got me on that bus. Wooh.

[Guess who’s blockhead and tomato and the second banana.:]

my inconvenient truth. and a bunch of lies.

2007-11-17T09:10:03Z

im getting fat. boohoo. i crossed the road (Faura) from Rob to CAMP, and as i looked at my reflection at Goodwill Bookstore's doors...oh no, iba na dimensions ko!!! an ill effect of eating what i want everyday. (mostly ice cream, pizza, burgers, more ice cream, cookies, and of course, fries!) boohoo. and on the jeep from alabang, an old classmate saw me and she exclaimed: "tumaba ka na!!!". that was before she even said "hi" or anything.

"tumaba ka na!!!", my gluteus maximus.hmp. at least i still fit in my 26-inch waist skinny jeans. it's just... fitter. Ü haha. i remember something i read: I'm fat but you're ugly.. and i can diet! hay. i suppose i can resist ice cream... i wish. hay. even when we went to Baguio, i had ice cream. (and it was already freezing cold, i tell you.)

*heavy sigh* it's very hard to live in a world filled with sweet temptations.

xxx

friends, love and forever... they're all lies.

saying " im sorry", "im okay, really i am", and "you are my only one"?? it's all bullshit too.

sure, sometimes these ambiguous terms are meant when thay're said. sometimes cheesy lines are said with such (seemingly anyway) sincerity, it's enough to melt your heart. you believe it. and sometimes you fall...
down into the cold, dark depths of misery and despair.

i saw my highschool so-called best friend yesterday. he sat next to me on the bus. and we talked about... absolutely nothing. it was all stupid small talk then awkward silence. the last time i saw him was (by chance) on my birthday. that was in July.

did we really change so much that we can't relate to each other now? i miss the conversations we had before graduating. he always listened to my sob stories. i had fun talking until way past sundown with him instead of going to the graduation practice. he always helped me out, especially with my obsessive infatuation with ahem.. anyway, he was my friend. my best friend. even if only for a while. but now i'm afraid we don't even know each other anymore. that sucks. why did things turn out like this? it's just like a break up. only platonic. *ouch*.

speaking of break-ups.. being "in love" doesn't really last either does it? one day you're grinning ear to ear and the next, you're crying your eyes out.(and you're never seeing his stupid lying ugly face again!) hmm.. maybe love lasts for some people, but i don't know. why should i believe it?

*sigh*

is there any hope at all for the male species??

nosebleed in the middle of hell week.

2007-10-06T09:02:03Z

i've been sitting in front of this computer at Alva (in Padre Faura) for little more than 4 hours. And while i admit to procrastinating (for what? 2 hours? :p ), this is sooooooooo driving me up the wall. Nina's with me, typing the Things To Do in PHILO 1 as i am doing my term paper for comm. it's about the implementation of ICT in Muntinlupa, and my evaluative paper is not evaluative. grr. informative nalang. wonder if i will fail because of this.* heavy sigh* I'm not even finished with my Things To Do yet. It's due on Tuesday, and this comm paper is due on Monday. Xiet. Merma said she only gave us the TTD to make sure we could apply philo in our daily lives. <that's BULLS**T!!> i already apply philo in my daily life, actually it's already in my system. first of all, i debate, which is basically informal logic in action. grr. i also adjudicate occasionally, which Merma does not know is also an exercise of my 'obligation as a critical thinker'. i apply philo outside the debate circle as well, in many instances i will not say because im so toxicated and i am merely procrastinating again. my nose is bleeding, this is my comm output so far, which i will post in my trashblog because i want to read it in black and blue because my eyes hurt already. damneet. why do i have to do this what is the connection of this to speech pathology can i go home now. *sigh* i am so very very very very tired right now...............
xxx

ICT implementation and the puto binan industry in Laguna.

2007-10-03T13:20:38Z

"mingtot, ingat ka pauwi.. :) it's fun mgpunta kung san2 wid u, hehehe ingat ka ah.. :)"

-sarah after our trip today.

my phone is filled with text msgs like this from friends. makes me feel... weird. in a good way.parang... ang bait bait ko? hmm... *evil grin* :D

xxx

funny. how a trip back to my old high school then a trip to Laguna made me realize so many things.also funny how sweet nothings can make your day. (not neccessarily from a romantic whatever.) not funny that im getting fat from all the sweets, and poorer with all the spending.

epiphany number 1: i was once a perky angel. yes. i remember i used to love pink, and candy canes, and hello kitty, that sort of stuff. i was in elementary. my dark side started to come out when my parents separated. heinous. it got worse when i discovered i like boys. hmm. a dose of misery deserved by addictive infatuations.
2: being a sweet sixteen, no boyfriend since birth, never been kissed person is actually a good thing. while i sound like a loser, it's kind of cute. in a dorky old-fashioned way. diba diba? :) haha. it's certainly better than some people who are teenage moms, juvenile delinquents, wasted on drugs, smokers, etc etc. i uncurse my single status. haha.
3. friends are friends are friends. happy un-endings happen sometimes, after much inarte you realize you don't have even a flicker of affection for him.(like in the case of ahem, omg. sayang ang senior prom ko! one of the worst nights of my life.i was such a loser to cry in the ballroom mismo, mascara running down my cheek and all.tapos when we got in college and then we sorta dated, i realized i dont like him! wah. face of the night pa naman aku nung prom. tsktsktsk.)next time i shall try not to mess up once-in-a-lifetime events.
4.my high school is so hightech na!!! apart from the new building (constructed in the space of 4 months) the place is hooked up with high speed internet, all classrooms have tv sets, there's a speech laboratory (how come hindi ko to inabot!?), ICT is implemented in teaching processes, and! hindi na uso ang handwritten notes! (why?!) puro module na! grr.. samantalang ako, na fresh graduate, nagcultivate ng Carpal Tunnel syndrome sa dami ng sinulat ku..*sigh*
5.as the song goes.. "i aint easy to find im one of a kind.. im way too cool for you boy that's why it'll never work, i'll have you suicidal suicidal".. i never really thought of myself as horribly ugly, but never as dazzlingly beautiful before. hmm. im not saying now that i am.. (well i was "cutest girl" and face of the night on the two proms and sometimes heads turn..)anyway.. back to that cheesy dyahe song. haha. i'll never be a supermodel walking on some catwalk but im pretty in my own way... :) hahahaha. im confident enough now. im a beautiful girl. *belat* haha. unlike in high school, the unrequited "love" story where the blind guy sees someone else so i feel like a worthless slug. harhar. at least i learn from the past. ill never measure up to someone else, i can only be me. and that's more than enough. wee. (the horrible debate circle delibs worked in a v. strange way. wapak.)
5. the farther South you go, the less like Manila it is. kumalma ako by the time we reached Binan and when we got to Sta. Rosa, my heart was singing. kind of. haha. i saw a vast expanse of green land. and it was so peaceful and quiet. enjoy.. how different from Manila, where i almost get roadkilled every other day around Taft Avenue and Faura. (medyo tanga tumawid. *grin* pedestrian-ally challenged?)

we went to SM Sta Rosa. it was a bummer. of course it's nothing like Festival Mall or Robinson's Place Ermita. (duh Ming!:)
6. The Mall is my refuge. basta mall. haha. something cold and cookies and cream flavored while walking around with a friend (maybe more) is an instant detoxification thing. i usually go for Zagu or McFlurry. hihi. :) when my mom starts her menopausal episodes or life at UP is bloodshed, i hit the mall. or if i can't go out i do something artsy. like the back cover of my binder which got so many oohs and aahs my ego swelled.. then burst. they want me to make them one too.
7.I like travelling. lakbay diwa galore! haha. :) i realized that since a trip from home to Manila (or back home) is 1 1/2 to 2 hours, then i spend more than 3 hours travelling every day, 15 hours a week!? parang sana natulog nalang ako.. but in fairness i do sleep while on the bus, or i study, or i eat, or i bond with a friend (usually may kasabay aku pauwi. haha:), or sound trip, or daydream. i just hate the noise and traffic. and the days where i stand in the bus because im so late, and nobody's noble enough to offer me a seat. shame. usually that happens on tuesdays and fridays because i leave the house just as natsci class starts. i catch a bus right outside jpa agad but i have to stand until we get to Magallanes and someone finally gets off the dang bus. this is an adverse effect of liberalization and gender equality. there just aren't enough gems who open doors and offer seats anymore. tsktsk. you have to be maputi, matangkad with long straight black hair for that to happen. grr. most girls who are actually top model pretty have no brains. believe me, they are vain haughty airheads. haha. bitter because im pretty but not gorgeous enough. it's a shame im bespectacled. i look geeky.
8. more when i feel like it.

on the street with colegiala

2007-09-15T10:26:25Z

             whew. so far college life has been incredibly busy. unbelievable. ;)
so many new things have happened and i've grown out of old habits.i've
met new people, found my circle of great friends, turned sixteen, joined orgs,
survived dep Exams, survived debate training and my first compet in La Salle,
revamped my wardrobe, gone to a rally (yes, i was a part of a shouting angry mob!:),
watched Ballet Manila then went to StarCity, gone to a CASPians party, learned
how to chacha boogie and mambo (blame our Social Dance PE:), eaten way
too much fast food, turned into a complete mallrat, gone geeky (i have study habits
and a planner now.haha.:),  wandered around Manila, turned into a caffeine
monster/gatorade dependent, been with different kinds of people from everywhere,
... so many other things.
          i love the freedom!! wee.. i eat chocoate cake for breakfast, im late or i
go out the room when i feel like it, i wear what i want, i sit where i want, i have
lakbay diwa time when i commute (takes 1-2 hrs:), i go to the mall everyday
(lunch at Rob with KNRRMS), i don't have any Filipino or Tagalog classes
(hahahaha!!!:), i go home much later and im not so affected by what other
people say or think anymore. (you know, people who try to degrade you or
lump you into a category) *sigh* it feels so good to be alive.it feels good to
be me, not a girl in uniform who's too afraid to live outside her bubble world.
         we're having a musical (sing/dance/act) presentation in Histo 1, a
dance number (ballroom) for SocDance in a theatre, and maybe I'll go to
the Nationals Debating Championships in Baguio. KNRRMS will also have
a swimming in Calatagan, Batangas this December. hihi. :)
i hope things go great. :) wee. im excited already.
       and there's also something that makes me wonder...hmm...i'll just keep
on thinking my unshare-able thoughts... ;)

***meet Kappa Nu Rho Rhu Mu Sigma.*** (4th monthsary namin yesterday :)
these were taken while we were at the National Museum.